We’ve Gone Halvesies …

Chip is six months old today. What?!

It’s been a nice day. Wanna know what I didn’t do? Bake half a cake. Why didn’t I do that? Note to self: Make three quarters of a cake on April 27.

To celebrate this milestone, Chip is wearing a new pair of jammies. I am making some GIFs and a beanie, not necessarily in that order. CK is doing our taxes. We party hard.

Yesterday the kid and I went over to visit Lil’ Bee and meet baby Leo. He is gorgeous! LB is handing motherhood with awe-inspiring grace and a whole lotta moxie, despite some unanticipated challenges. I gobbled up a solid two hours of her time without even realizing it. Chip grabbed on to the sleeve of Leo’s onesie and didn’t let go for quite a while. He could not have claimed him more obviously by sticking a flag in him … it’s like he was saying, “It’s cool, buddy, we’re pals now and that means I always gotcha.” Cute.

I’m hoping that we’ll get enough back in our tax return to be able to snag a crib for the bambino. Up til now he’s been rocking the Pack-N-Play, which I haven’t minded in the least. But it’s time.

I’ll be back to show off my fancy GIFs for you. Hold on to ya ham hocks.

Currently listening to: Islands by The xx

I’m … Creepy.

I’ve spent the last half hour going through some old photos of CK. I went from “awwwww”-ing to laughing my head off to kind of licking my lips and winking suggestively at the screen. I’m not sure – is it still pedophilia if an adult woman gives her husband’s Junior Prom portrait the down/up?

Then there was this crazy moment when I saw a guy in one of pictures and my brain instinctually went, “Hmm, he’s good lookin’!” A microsecond later, I realized that I had just checked out my father-in-law. Sure, the picture was taken 25 years ago, and to be fair, CK is practically a facsimile of his dad. Still! I was a little bit mortified with myself. No offense, Pal.

While we’re talking pics, here’s one of Chip.

He’s got his first two teeth coming in. You can imagine how much fun this is for me and my…

…

I can’t type that word. I can’t do it.

…Me and my husband. Yes! Husband is what I was going to say.

 Currently listening to: Sleep Tonight (Junior Boys Remix) by Stars

Your Logik is Not Right!

Hey.

Are you guys bored?

No? Ha. I don’t believe you. You are reading this blog, after all. Oh, you’re coming clean now? Great! Here are some fun things I discovered today, presented for your pleasure and enjoyment.

1.  Flula. FLULA. I never heard of him before tonight, but now my life is forever changed. I may have a new favorite as far as virtual one-sided friendships go. Sorry, Ree.

Rawffle! (It’s how cool kids spell ROFL)

2.  My girl Milo brought this article to my attention on Facebook. I think it’s a great read for any of you one-kid moms like me. It’s not every day that something manages to make me cheer, meditate, feel absolved, and (yes) even pretend that someone is cutting onions. This one did all four. Good linkin’ Milo!

3.  Clash of the fandoms! Be still my heart.

4.

5. BOOM. And then my trackpad was clicked and clicked until it faded out of existence. JRose, I think this one came from you. Q? for you girl: If I blow something up for reals, you’ll represent me, right?

Okay, you’ve had your fun. Now get back to work!

Currently listening to: The Middle by Jimmy Eat World

Chit Chat, Volume 3

Sav
doctor watson is the british version of jim halpert
And thats the most exciting thing that happened to me today
3:24 PM

CK
My most exciting moment was my cookie after lunch.
3:32 PM

Don’t tell me I don’t lead a glamorous life.

Currently listening to: Astro by The White Stripes

Mominology, Part 1

That’s terminology for moms, coined by Yours Truly.

1. The Tai Chi: When your baby (finally) falls asleep on you while you’re in an awkward position, and you have to whip out some extreme slow-motion contortionism so you can untangle yourself and go set him in his crib.
2. The Swipe-N-Go: The ugly old shirt you wear on days when keeping your clothes clean is too much hassle. Is your baby’s mouth a drool faucet? No problem. Somebody got a cold? Never mind! Do you or your little one have any other particularly leaky orifices that need minding? IT’S OKAY! Don’t bother with burp cloths and tissues; just swipe-n-go!
3. The Lit Menorah: When you realize that you left the house without an extra diaper, but your baby’s bottom miraculously stays clean until you get home.
4. The Scope Out: When you’re in a congregation and you immediately claim the seat nearest the exit so that you and the baby can make a quick getaway if need be.
5. The Stand and Jiggle: Will magically calm a grouchy baby, if only momentarily.
6. The Groan: That moment when you’re woken from the deepest sleep by the sound of baby crying. Could it be called anything else?
7. The Juvenile: When your baby startles himself with the loudness of his own “wind”, and you laugh so hard you nearly produce your own.
8. The Morarji Spa:

Currently listening to: Say It Ain’t So by Weezer

Oh, There Goes Gravity!

Right, so, I’m all caught up on Doctor Who. Well, except for the latest Christmas Special, which I’ll probably cave in and watch in 240p via 10 sequential clips embedded in some shady Japanese website.

S6 was excellence! So, so good. Not to mention OH HEY – partially filmed in southern Utah, which, where the %$@! was I when that went down?

Ah, that’s right. I was off being clueless and studenty and stupid in Provo. Also, pregnant. But that’s not stupid.

Anyhoo, the show is marvelous … I’m a solid fan … maybe a little obsessed … yadda yadda. But it’s over now, at least for a while. As old school Slim Shady would say, it’s time to snap back to reality. It’s harder for me than it should be.

Would you think I was nuts if I told you I’ve been practicing escapism in order to cope with the death of my brother? That I’ve latched on to the idea of a pacifistic yet powerful altruist with the freedom to manipulate time because even though I know it’s just a figment, it still makes everything feel less random? No? Whew. I knew you guys were good friends.

Currently listening to: Gusu Ballad by Lei Qiang

And There You Have It

I did not blog last night. The siren call of my fluffy pillow was too persuasive. My my, it didn’t take long for me to louse up the whole posting every day thing, did it?

Tonight’s dinner was a success. I am patting myself, CK, and Chip on our respective backs for being charming and well-behaved.

(Except for that time when I ate two or three or maybe seven peanut butter turtle brownies.)

We will have to invite these people over more often. They are the parents of Chip’s girlfriend, and they, too, like Rock Band and foods smothered in salsa. Kindred spirits!

Quick question: Am I the only one obsessed with Arthur Darvill right now?

Currently listening to: Lightning by The Wanted

Unlike a Snack Cake …

… I don’t thrive on being a hostess, especially to people I don’t know well. I enjoy company. I know how to throw together a decent gathering. It’s just that doing it typically stresses me out more than is probably healthy.

I once had a conversation with Milly on this topic. For some reason, the idea of real, formal, capital-g Guests (as opposed to pals just hanging out) switches her Freakoutometer into overdrive, just like it does mine. It all makes me (us) unreasonably attentive to detail! The likelihood that someone will notice and/or care about that microscopic speck of dirt on the floor I missed because I was busy obsessively rearranging the napkins? Teensy. The chance that said someone will interpret that speck to mean that I am a lazy, slobbish, and overall awful person? Zilch. And yet I’ll worry about it until I’m nearly in fits.

I know how stupid I’m being. I can’t turn it off. So annoying.

Yet on Saturday I’ve set myself up to not only receive guests, but to feed them! Oh yes. I’m dooming myself to a stomach-butterfly invasion, and all in the name of this thing people do nowadays called “being social” and “making friends in the ward”. More like mental ward. Is it worth it? Dunno.

I think know it won’t be a catastrophe. These things always turn out alright. So why am I counting down the minutes until this enjoyable evening is over with?

Currently listening to: Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye feat. Kimbra

Whatever.

1. Anti-SOPA/PIPA
2. Delightful lunch with C. –> DW series 6. Oh yes!
3. Lots of looking at pretty things online
4. Excited to do all those pretty things
5. Four weeks …
6. It’s quarter to one. Does this post even count?
7. I’m so tired I want to evaporate.

Currently listening to: Back to Black by Amy Winehouse

Ach, du

I’m being kind of gloomy and morbid right now. I’ve started like nineteen posts but I haven’t been able to finish them.

They were all depressing anyway.

I think instead of writing I will go do something else.

Currently listening to: The Golden Age by Beck